Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Characters: Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Emma Swan, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time)
Additional Tags: Post-Curse Storybrooke, One Shot
‘Regina had watched as Emma transformed. She had not uttered one single remark. But this she could not abide.’ - Emma makes a change to her appearance that is just one change too far. One-shot.
Underneath the dress was a black cell-phone. It rang harshly as soon as she laid eyes on it. Emma answered, already imagining what she’d change Regina’s ringtone to. “Yello?”
Regina paused. Emma could only imagine the shudder of resentment, but it was a good mental image. “This is my private line to you. Whenever it rings, you answer, no matter what you’re doing. Failure to pick up is a punishable offense.”
She was so serious about it that Emma just had to reply “Yes, my dark mistress” in her gimpiest voice. No one else thought it was funny.
“You have the dress?” Regina asked humorlessly.
“Put it on. You’ll need it where we’re going.”
“The set of a James Bond movie?”
“The first birthday part of Cinderella and her foot fetishist’s son. I assume you’re received an invitation.”
“I assume you haven’t?”
“That’s why yours will say Plus One. Change and await me at the curb.”
“…Do I not please you, Mistress Swan?”
Very angsty SQ. AU. Don’t want to write too much because I don’t want to give away what happens.
Preview | They hadn’t been together for that long really but when Regina felt Emma’s hands move to her waist in that way she knew what her intentions were exactly. “We can’t do this here. The wedding-“
“-is still going on without us, don’t worry.”
“Emma, has it escaped your attention that we are literally in a closet right now?” said Regina dryly.
Emma: You have really pretty eyes, do you know that?
Regina: Shut up. And hold still.
Emma: I mean, I know you adopted him, but sometimes Henry is so like you that I expect him to look like you too, you know?
Regina: Probably because you’re an idiot. Who picks fights with creatures she can’t possibly defeat.
Emma: Hey, your stupid monster is dead now.
Regina: Do you know how many men Grendel has killed? Probably even more than you slept with skanking around Florida for two years.
Emma: Hey! And who taught you the word ‘skank’?
Regina: Your colorful vocabulary is rubbing off on me. Along with your blood and what I hope is just water.
Emma: Might be monster spit, sorry.
Regina: (closing her eyes and taking a deep breath) Impossible. Truly, truly impossible.
Emma: Ow! Careful.
Regina: You’re lucky those claws didn’t take your eye out. Or sever your head, more to the point.
Emma: It was easy when you showed up to tell me what to do.
Regina: I can’t always do that.
Emma: I don’t know, saving each other is totally our embarrassing hobby.
Regina: I don’t think it’ll need stitches. I would use magic, but Henry—
Emma: Show me how. We’ll use mine.
Regina: Very well. (lays Emma’s own hand over her torn skin) Now think about two hands coming together: clapping, or praying, maybe.
Emma: Okay. (beat) Hey, it worked!
Regina: Well, no doubt you’ll be using that skill again before long. You idiot.
Emma: You could just tell me you were worried, you know.
Regina: (starts to cry, looks horrified about it) It was just like… and at the stables of all places… Emma. Don’t do that again.
Emma: Hey, hey, it’s okay. I won’t, okay? Unless Henry is directly in danger, I won’t go ripping off anyone’s arm. Actually, I’ll do it if you’re in danger, too.
Regina: You don’t have to.
Emma: I do. (they kiss, quickly and softly, others could walk in at any moment) I’m sorry I scared you.
Regina: The Evil Queen doesn’t get scared, dear.
Emma: The Evil Queen might want to try telling that to her panda eyes*.
Regina: Let’s get you home. You’re staying with me tonight.
Emma: You sure?
Regina: I can’t sleep if you don’t.
Emma: Then pack me some PJs, it’s sleepover time.
*there’s been some confusion about this - panda eyes means her mascara has run from crying/rubbing her eyes. If that’s an accidental Briticism, sorry!